Premonitions
by PerennialOutlander
Summary: I couldn’t sleep ; bad dreams. And you?” “ something like that.” OC&MC. spontaneous & something written from my own experience;more so from my heart. please R
1. Premonitions

**Premonitions **

_Sometime in the near future…_

"why won't you let me?! release me!" she shrieked into his face as he held tightly onto her wrists, both kneeling on the cold tiled floor. His hands felt slick  with wetness as his grip hardened. She struggled violently against her bondage, silent tears trickling down her cheeks as she spoke hoarsely.

"can't you understand that this is what I want? All the times that I loved you as you chose your road, all the times that I followed your dreams and needs…leave me be, why can't you?! I want to be alone! I want to be gone! Please!!" she begged, her sobs coming in tidal waves. Her whole body shook as she gasped with her crying. His grip slackened as he felt her strength seep out of her. Slowly she slumped into his chest, her wrists still being held by her lover. 

The moonlight crept into the bathroom then, casting her form into a ghostly figure, slowly dying as the storm outside began to approach with sudden speed. He let go of her wrists; they floated down to her sides with a finality that made him hug her harder into his chest. her continuous weeping made his heart contract.

"Cameo, why did you do this? Why now? why to yourself? Why did you feel the need to rip yourself from our world?" he whispered. Her sobs slowly thinned off, leaving him to hold his shuddering fiancé in his arms.  Her hand sought his and she grasped it weakly, too exhausted to say anything. Her head lay under his chin, her body cradled against his. Still holding her in his arms, he shakily stood up, her feet dragging against the tiles.

He carried her towards the bath and ,gently placing her into it ,began to remove her blood-soaked night gown, slowly pulling it off one arm, and then the other. Holding her against him, he pulled it over her head and dropped it , hearing it slap against the floor. Tenderly lying her against the bath edge, he slipped off her panties, inching them bit by bit off her legs. He turned on the taps, letting the hot water mix with the cold, creating steam that rose around them, fogging the mirrors. Grabbing the sponge of the wall he began to wash her small body, the blood falling away in a thin stream. Her eyes had closed, but she was still breathing in a steady rhythm.  Stopping the water, he moved to her wrists .

They were such thin cuts, yet causing so much blood to flow. He rubbed them in a circular pattern, making sure to not bathe too deep. Her body cringed. He stopped , rinsing the soap off gently. As he looked up, her eyes slowly opened, flickering from  her deadened state. They locked onto his and stayed there, filling with sorrow, but being overflowed by a calm contentment that he hoped was a sign that she wanted to live.

He drew her out of the bath, one arm round his shoulder as he fumbled for her towel. He wrapped her tightly into its warmth, then , sweeping her off her feet, he carried her through to their bedroom and lay her down onto the powder-blue sheets. He stepped toward the trunk that stood at the foot of their bed and pulled out a first-aid kit. He placed it next to her ,opening it at the same time, pulling out the paraffin-gauze and antiseptic.

"Cameo, this is going to sting. Please don't be frightened.," he pleaded as he began to clean the cuts. Her fingers spasmed briefly ,followed by suddenly relaxing. He heard the thunder trembling through the building, and knew it was a portent of…something, he just didn't know what. Smoothing the wet bandages over her wrist, he watched her as she looked outside.  Her eyes were of a living, breathing person; her soul was still there. Then why had she done it?

He wrapped the clean bandages tightly around and around, clasping them into place with an elastic hook. Her one hand reached for him. He felt his heart clench again as he gripped her milk-coloured hand. He lay down next to her and she snuggled into his arm. he felt that she was trying to forget what she had tried to do. 

They lay there as the heavens began to pour out in torrents. As the rain hit the window, it sparkled with the lightning that crackled through the clouds. They lay there , like that, as still as two live bodies could lie , throughout the night. Neither closed their eyes. He watched her as she stared at the rainstorm, starting at each thundering bolt of lightning. he held her tighter each time. 

The storm broke just as the sun rose over the horizon. He just had to watch as its thin wisps of golden rays eased through the vanishing clouds , playing games on their apartment's walls. he felt her shift and looked down. Cameo was now facing him, eyes shining in the light. he opened his mouth to speak, but she beat him to it.

"I'm sorry for what I did last night. I'm sorry for you and… I'm sorry for myself. I… just wanted out," she said sadly. she waited for him to say something, but instead he remained quiet, wanting her to continue .she rose from the bed, walking over to their wardrobe . as she opened the door, the mirror came into view, showing her as she was then. He studied her as her fingers traced the reflection, trying to guess her emotions. She had never been this shut off from him. Never in the time that he had known her, all of those days in three years. Except…

her sharp turn broke from his thoughts. The towel lay on the floor, puddled beneath her as she stood naked before him. He sat up, legs crossing in an automatic lotus position. He gazed at his fiancé, drinking in her figure and, at the same time, wondering over last night again in his mind. 

She was a beautiful woman. Her skin was a healthy milk-colour, at that moment slightly brown with a tan. She was tall, taller than most woman, yet still shorter that him. Her lavender hair flowed down her back in small waves ending below her shoulder bones, violet streaks surrounding her face. Her earth-brown eyes were always large with wonder, but were a natural size for her oval face. Across her left eyebrow were five scars, causing five thin stripes where no hair grew. She had a slightly upturned nose that added to a full mouth that loved to smile. around both of her upper arms were tattoos of a vine and chain intertwined. Her hands were small , like a child's, but strong. She had a small chest, enhancing her fragility. A flat stomach, followed by long legs… she used to be gymnast, he remembered abruptly. Looking up into her eyes, he could see her scrutinizing him as well. He grinned at her. A small smile flashed across her face before she pulled out her dressing gown.

He climbed off the bed, disentangling his legs from their crossed position. he grabbed her from behind and nuzzled into her neck. She let out a shriek of laughter and struggled in his grip playfully. His lips moved up to her ears, nibbling her lobes gently. He squeezed her briefly.

" we need to talk," he whispered into her ear. They ambled over to the couch in the sitting-room, Cameo dragging her feet reluctantly. Dropping into its softness, he waited for her words. She stared at the palms of her hands for a few minutes, then began to speak without looking at him.

" you know I have a problem. I can't … control , I guess. Just…everything lately has been getting to me. my job… completely sucks; it's become even more depressing to watch other people swallow what I have to say, the words that I write from my heart. I can't handle our so-called friends. All they do is either talk to us about their happiness, or they come to me and whinge about their problems. All in all, I'm a 'great friend' to them. Can you get that?" she asked, her gaze fixed on him now.

"and… I don't know, I don't understand. Just … I felt so numb. i _feel_ so numb. the fact that I wanted to hurt myself seemed tempting. It would let me feel. maybe. It would let me cry, let me scream, let me kick my feet against the wall." She crossed her arms, trying to hide the shaking he could see. He made no move to comfort her, not just yet.

"I've done it before, in that same spot. I was always careful to not cut too deep, just so I could come back and do it again. And I never do it regularly , like every week. I could cry and scream. I could let out the frustration in me, but only some times. I was raised to believe that i had to be strong, me, the kid!  I wasn't really allowed to break down once in while, because my parents always treated me like an adult, and adults, they're never allowed to cry. They have to bury everything deep within, and if they broke one day, we had to leave them alone, let them sort things out for themselves. Love was there, it just wasn't openly displayed."

" and I guess that it happened again. i just felt alone, cut off like I was in my family. and I know you are here!" she exclaimed, suddenly grabbing his hand and holding it tensely.

"I just don't want you to know, I …don't… want to burden you with my problems. I thought if I could deal with it then, clean and quickly, it would be over, and it would be gone, seeped out of my body like some poisonous toxin. Gotten rid of. But then you found me. and all I could see was how I was hurting you, and I was so confused. I just wanted to die then, save you from knowing more, save you from knowing about how much I hid from you… I just wanted to save you from knowing how much I hurt and how much you didn't know. I thought it wasn't fair of me to live then, to let you know pain." Tears began trickling down her cheeks, small, ever flowing. He gripped her shoulders swiftly and held her upright.

" I love you Cameo! You hear me? I love you!! there can't be another person out there that loves you as much as I do! I want to be there for you, understand? I _want_ to listen to what you have to say. I want to hold you as you cry. I'll even hold the punching-bag for you as you kick and scream!" she chuckled softly at that through her tears. He moved over to her and wrapped his arms round her, holding her close to him.

"you and I, we're one now, we don't need some stupid ceremony telling us that. when you cry, I cry. When you hurt, I hurt," he whispered thickly, tears beginning to fill his eyes.

" when you smile, I smile and I want to hold you up to the world to show them what an amazing and brilliant woman you are! Oh god, Cameo, I love you so much," he cried as he embraced her. She hugged him back, her tears changing from those of helplessness to happiness, sorrow to joy. they rocked each-other back and forth on the couch, loving each-other more in the tears shared. They parted and he cupped her chin in his hand, holding her head up to him. He drew her back to him, his lips to hers and kissed her lovingly, passionately, displaying all the love he had for her and more. his tongue met hers , stroking it while their arms pressed against their bodies, each clinging to each-other. She pulled back for lack of air. Cameo looked deeply into his eyes, panting. She smiled, the laughter creeping into her body once again. She kissed him again, a small peck on the lips that promised something later.

" I love you too! I love you, Kai Hitawari!" she cried. 

++++--------++++--------++++--------++++---------++++---------++++---------++++

_now, in the present…_

A booming clap of thunder resounded throughout the building, jolting Kai from his dream. He sat upright, gasping for air with the sudden adrenaline surge. His heart thudded against his ribcage as he tried unsuccessfully to calm down. He glanced towards the bed across the room where his room-mate, Ray ,slept. Ray carried on sleeping peacefully, not having reacted to the thunder. Carefully climbing out of his bed, he padded toward his wardrobe and took out his coat and sneakers. he snuck out of the room, and went out the apartment door. 

Shrugging on his coat while pulling on his shoes, he began to walk slowly down the buildings' stairway, all twenty-four of them. He took his time, one foot, one step; no skipping. as he reached the eighteenth floor, he came upon the sight of a young girl sitting on the stairs, lavender hair held up in a high ponytail, covered in a large blanket. Ignoring the bells ringing in his head from the dream, he walked towards her and sat down. Without really looking at her, he stuck out his hand in greeting.

"I'm Kai. What are you doing out here?" he asked,  his cold tone still present but slightly muffled. She looked at his hand, then looked up at him. taking his hand in both of hers, she held them for a moment, then clasped them with a quick squeeze.

" hello Kai. My name's Cameo. I couldn't sleep ; bad dreams. And you?" she murmured, her voice echoing in the almost empty stairway. It was a beautiful voice, full like an opera-singer, sweet with experience. He looked up at her, their eyes meeting. His twinkled in the light.

" something like that."

========================THE END==========================

I hope you all enjoyed that. I was toying with the idea of writing a Beyblade story, I already have 2 in development, but this one just popped up and…kinda wrote itself. I hope you liked how I wrote it, and I hope you like the idea of Kai being out-of-character. Believe me, I enjoy a good yaoi fic as much as anybody, but this one seemed right at the moment. I would like your input, but please don't be very nasty with me. I'm still recovering from the fact that my computer deleted 7 pages off my main story.

I would like at least 10 reviews; then I'll leave this story up to gather electronic dust. If I can't at least get 5 by the 10th, this upcoming Friday, I'm going to remove this, print it out, and keep it in my file where it can gather some real dust. Please make my night.

**This story is dedicated to my best friend, my e-mail pal, since 1999 ; Miss Fahemah in South Africa**


	2. Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

Howzit everybody! Or at least to the only one that read this story, even though that was past my threat date.

I've decided to leave this story up. It was really stupid of me to put that threat at the end, because I don't really give a f**k about what other people think of my story. as long as this can touch one person out there, and as long as I have a friend to dedicate this to, it will stay up.

I'm very sad that I don't have any more reviews. Writing is everything to me: it is my life. Maybe I'm being overly emotional, but this is what I want people to know. This story was written about my experience. I didn't necessarily cut my wrists, but I cut in a very shallow area . if I had cut deeper, I would have possibly died. I was hoping I could've reached some more people with this, but maybe I'm just good at original fiction. I don't know.

Good night to all those who read this note. Happy reading.


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